To Be Alone

Whether it’s self-imposed or a casualty of circumstance, there is something to be said about the alone time we have. In either sense, we must resist desperation and idleness to get the most out of our desolate times. Loneliness has stigma for a reason; people never want to admit that they are insignificant and insufficient. But when will we have the time to reflect on mistakes and our flaws to gain perspective?


When we live in the hypothetical world of what makes us happy, we’ll run into unnecessary setbacks. Unfortunately for us, we chase the ideal life. The ideal life is one with very few hardships and the least resistance to our happiness. We have a perceived notion of sufficiency based on our limited life experiences and the harmonious nature of entertainment and the arts.


But there is no substitute to the undeniable facts of character building. Suffering brings perseverance. Perseverance brings character. Character brings hope. Many people, including myself, stop at suffering and want to go straight to hope. We want to believe that our suffering and troubles can be solved instantly, through the benevolence of a partner or friendships. When we skip perseverance and character, we miss out on the wisdom and temperance necessary to avoid pitfalls and traps. Many also try to skip from suffering to character, but it only brings hubris and an undesirable disposition. A person who believes that suffering is resolved with sheer will and determination. A person who feels entitled and deserving because of their suffering or past. Perseverance tempers a person’s pride and focuses on their humility. Suffering and perseverance, from an optimistic standpoint, is the ability of a person to build self-worth and empathy for others. Suffering and perseverance, from a pessimistic standpoint, is the manifestation of stigma, embarrassment and shame to many of us harbor during desolate times.  


So, to remedy the stigma and shame, we become desperate. Suffering brings perseverance. Perseverance brings character. Character brings hope. But we quell our suffering with self-sabotage. Anything that helps reduce the struggle of perseverance, we pursue it. We’ll use any manipulation of our mind and others’ minds—to protect ourselves from the inferior feeling we feel. The relationships we engage in are just insubstantial meetings of two lonely people, with the understanding of the exchange of insignificant benefits. The information and worldly wisdom we take in every single day—telling us what we need to hear because the road to perseverance and character is too grueling to endure. We want to feel good about ourselves because we need to tell the world that we’re fine—that we are making the best of our hopeless situation. We must use any measure to produce an ideal life, full of self-determination, independence, strength, fulfillment and intelligence. We want to broadcast our aptitude; a sort of megalomaniac who wants to “inspire others” but condemn detractors and supposed oppressors. All the games we play in feigning happiness is part of the art of deception and charm. The victimhood, the prowess, the intellectual thoughts, the virtues—all to find the ideal life. Are we any less alone?


It’s funny how the story of reconciliation and redemption becomes one note. Suffering brings perseverance. Perseverance brings character. Character brings hope. The storyboard reads: I suffered. I conquered. I’m now prosperous. But these individuals are coy about the whole process. Many because they do not want to disclose the sheer magnitude of the shame and embarrassment apparent in our setbacks. The alone time of questioning everything in our life; the loneliness and self-doubt that we try hard to ignore. It almost sounds like the storyboard is too good to be true. The road to redemption has unlimited routes—if we stay true to ourself and our self-worth. The road to redemption has only 3 destinations in modern society: money, power, acceptance. People will destroy their mental and physical being to gain one of those concepts. It’s always peculiar when someone gives a rags to riches tale, and it always leads to one of those three as the prize at the top of the mountaintop. Acceptance can mean several things—a relationship, a social title, an ideological pursuit realized. We want to be known for something. 


But this is the juxtaposition of our utilization, of our alone time. To be alone. To be lonely. To be in solitude. Suffering brings perseverance. Perseverance brings character. Character brings hope. How will we use our time? How will we react when persecution arises? Suffering, perseverance and character involves the evolution of a person. A point of night vs day. The complete transformation from what a person used to be to what they are now. Hope is the realization that their transformation will bring more benefits that what they would’ve had if they followed the status quo. The limited routes to happiness in today’s society is making people miserable; mainly because society’s options are purposeless. It’s just existing—it’s climbing and climbing with no direction. Money for what? Power over who? Acceptance from broken people—how will that bring happiness and fulfillment? 


Hope is the only thing we should strive for. To help, to encourage, to engage and to suffering for one another. The point of repeating; Suffering brings perseverance. Perseverance brings character. Character brings hope. It’s because it helps the next person in their time of need—of loneliness and despair. How will our ideal relationship help anyone? How will our ideal position at work help someone else? How will our ideology encourage someone who is in their last grips? Happiness and fulfillment is not prevalent in our society—not in the slightest.  We have more in common than we all think. We can help each other grow and we can prop up others so they can encourage the next generation who are in need. We’re meant to help each other, not harm each other.


Hope. The goal when we are forced to be alone. Hope that are destitution is not in vain. The sharing of our struggles and the knowledge to be given to those who need it. How will we react when we are faced with the beginning of solitude?

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