The Despair of Autonomy

Every introvert and person of solitude praises the concept of alone time. The autonomy of life is alluring, empowering and invigorating. Knowing that life is determined by your terms; financial, emotional, mental and psychological aspects determined and dictated by you and only you. The ability to achieve by our own volition and the knowledge to grow and develop eclectic sensibilities. Autonomy is something many people strive to keep, to defend their way of life from people who are oppressive, opportunistic and conniving. Freedom gives us the perceived notion of happiness, of success and of purpose. How can we pursue our goals in life if we do not develop our plan? We guard our pain and our insecurities from others—not because of the judgement, but because of the degradation. Judgement is minuscule compared to what autonomous people really fear; apathy.


Failure is a way of life, and many people use failure as fuel to learn from their mistakes and to try harder. Every intellectual and thinker will tell you that failure is essential to achieving great things in life. Failure encourages growth and dismisses our past instead of optimism. Failure molds us and develops our character and gives purpose to our mistakes and suffering. Failure, too many, is something we look at in hindsight with gratefulness and glee—because we think about the nescience and lack thereof. Failure and autonomy goes hand in hand because the life of freedom breeds many setbacks and roadblocks. Introverts and people of solitude alike ponders failure greatly and wishes to use those failures for personal growth and benevolence. But what if the pursuit of autonomy and the acquisitions of failures coincided with great apathy?


Despair is the answer. Apathy destroys people. A person learns from their mistakes and gains no advantage from their increase in understanding. To pursue solitude and realize reconciliation from the past, but the reward of appreciation and accolades never comes. Apathy defeats optimism and stunts creativity. For many, the stage of apathy turns into contentment, then slothfulness. When apathy is involved in life’s sphere, there is no freedom. We become inundated and perplexed in getting over the hurdle of apathy. To find solace in the realization of our growth and the morality to which we grow. Growing with no purpose is like reading war and peace while service a life sentence in solitary confinement. The despair and gloom of learning, growing and achieving, but the apathy of life and others brings painful emotions of worthlessness and sorrow. Autonomy is liberating, but it’s only helpful when there is purpose and humility.


Apathy turns into contentment, turns into slothfulness. This concept goes into a lot of what we pursue in life. It’s not limited to education, health, and relationships—it’s related to even the fundamental needs of safety and psychology. Unfortunately, contentment is organized in two ways; the appreciation of a deeper meaning in the purpose in life or the relaxing of our intellect and virtues to create a faux oasis. Contentment in the optimistic sense gives us more drive to achieve greater things with discernment and temperance. Contentment in the pessimistic sense means we’ve looked in the mirror and create a demigod. When apathy turns to contentment, autonomy and freedom is destroyed. But to combat this, there is an ever-present fight to destroy apathy—to find purpose and acceptance. The struggle is brutal, and patience during this fight is paramount. Autonomy is alluring, but the success rate for its effectiveness is slim. With the absence of morality and the acceptance of our hubris, autonomy is highly effective, but only to the selfish individual.


If a person wishes to share their life with others, autonomy must die. The concept of being our own person is a selfish endeavor. Our life and our purpose must encourage or empower others, and that is not negotiable. Apathy occurs because of the malaise of finding solace in acceptance and rewards. Apathy happens because of our entitlement and not our fervent. Failure is not currency to receive better; failure is improving efficiency of life—nothing more. The despair of autonomy deals with the sadness of failure. The opportunity of endless possibilities to take advantage of life’s follies but falling short time and time again. When doubled with loneliness, apathy grows and engulfs a person’s life. The end of apathy means the end of autonomy.  



Then what’s the purpose? Well, purpose. A singular goal—others. Autonomy turns into utilization of our gifts and talents to improve the life of others. When others is our purpose, apathy cannot live because the pursuit of others is a lifelong journey. Failures complicate the journey, but it establishes focus. Our failures turn into our testimony. Freedom is essential, but it should be in the realm of flexibility of ourselves to others. Our past is not an excuse for negating our future. In times, we want to give up when our faults seem too plentiful. But with every flaw and every failure comes more understanding and eccentricity. 

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